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April 28, 2015:
Growth, Changes and New Discoveries: The path I have been on began in Vietnam in 1968. I remember clearly one night something loud was going on at the perimeter. Flairs lit the night and mortars add their own special sonic resonance. I leaned against a sandbag wall and had my conversation with God. I told him I just couldn't do what I was being asked to do and still walk the path with him. He said He understood and would be waiting for me down the road. What I didn't know at the time (I'm sure He/She did) was that down the road would be many years later with a whole lot of challenges and adventures between. Over the last couple of earth years many things have occurred in that journey back to the God presence that is the universe and more. The core of the discoveries made on this wild and quiet journey has taken me to a place which offers the opportunity for transition from "the Swamp to the Meadow". I'm kind of a visual guy. the Swamp has all those critters, smells and experiences you've heard of. It also has the power of Drama. It will suck you down, but much like a Vampire, we turn our neck in willing supplication to have our life force sucked out of us. The longest running television programs have titles such as Days of our Lives, As the World Turns, Chapter Three of Who Cares (I made the last one up). Drama, fear, shame, anger, resentment, pride - all that stuff that we push away as being bad and yet bring it close to hold it dear. Til it sucks our life and ....
OR We can step across the Fear line to the Meadow: abundance, freedom, expression, love, confidence. Living large in the presence of, well words hardly describe the possibilities of living your life in all that is possible.
I have found that it is simple to get from the Swamp to the Meadow, but not easy. It is a challenge and struggle most everyone faces, many more than once. There are tools available and resources in this Hero's Journey. For many from European stock, enamored by the world of science that is limited by what can be seen, touch, measured and which fits comfortably into our belief system, the transition from ordinary to non-ordinary reality is a leap. You can use words to discover non-ordinary reality, but it is best experienced directly to get the full bouquet of its robust offerings. Others have defined the world of ordinary reality as the ego world. Not a bad place to be in many ways, but it has it's limits and contains the swamp and the meadow often they seem to share the same space. There are some ego world tools that help in the transition from drama to being drama-free. There are other truths that work quite handily move us along. How about the power of positive thinking? Been around for quite awhile. Very often we translate that to mean, really, I can think something but as long as I speak positively it will be ok. Well, The science of Brain Chemistry suggests that the instant you have a thought chemicals are released to every cell in your body that prepares the body to respond to that thought - actually probably a nano-thought. Shazam! The energy has been released. And the word is the energy you put out is the energy that returns to you - ten fold. Interesting thought: ten times the love, ten times the hate, fear, shame, whatever. Another thought/tool is take nothing personally. The key word is nothing. Ever. by anyone. Living or dead. Ok, got that, How about not judging others. Truth is we make judgements about others often. Our beliefs tell us we have to. How would we know who we should like, or who rates our attention? Got to have standards, right? (Drama lurks in the weeds). How about not being concerned about the good opinion of others.
I've learned that I can't continue to hold onto my old beliefs and embrace my newly chosen behavior.
I've heard about the power of the Right brain, and that it's different from the power of the Left Brain. Left, logical, rational, linear. Right Brain: color, sound, intuition, non-linear. How does that work? Can I understand the language of the Right Brain using the definitions and paradigm of the Left. Don't think so. I'm in the helping/healing field: alcohol/drugs, Post traumatic stress, death and dying, marriage, kids, money. And left brain says lets talk and plan and take action. Let's set rules and standard and operational objectives. OK, but what about that other part that doesn't understand the world of rules. What about that part that we call soul or spirit or energy? I've learned that it operates in very different ways. The science of Quantum Physics has opened so many doors to what might be possible but is still often hard to measure except theoretical. Well, there used to be a time when the world was thought of as flat and people were burned at the stake for their hearsay. Oops, sorry about that scorthing thing. Didn't hurt for long, did it? We've learned differently than what we once believed to be gospel.
So my journey has taken me to exploring the non-ordinary reality. Know what I'm finding out? I'm not alone, this is not woowoo. This is barely charted territory that was known intimately 30,000 years ago (+/_, but who's counting) that we have forgotten in our quest to understand the world thought science. I understand there are two camps. The universe is either ruled by science or God. I'm coming to think they are the same thing and the dance between our left and right brains and our beliefs that hinder our growth and propel us to new understandings are lessons from the same tree of knowledge.
What do you think?
January 17, 2014:
Veteran Post
Deployment Concerns Update
The United States has been engaged in conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan for over ten years. Multiple deployments have involved Active Military as well as National Guard and Reserve troops. Since October 2001over 2.2 million troops have been deployed; many of them with multiple deployments. Research conducted by the National Institute for PTSD, a program of the Veterans Administration, suggests that approximately 20% of those deployed will return with a diagnosable mental health disorder and/or TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). Rates may be higher for those deploying multiple times. While the impact of PTSD symptoms in the workplace have been discussed, two other conditions have symptoms that are very similar to those experienced during combat trauma but have different etiologies: Military Sexual Trauma (MST) and Moral Injury (MI).
MST is not new to the military or to war. It is not unique to the American Military nor to recent conflicts. It has been suggested that the increase in women serving in the military has contributed to the number of women involved (approximately 1 in 5 women report one or more incidents) and the debate is being argued and challenged in all service branches and service academies. The Daily Beast, a Newsweek online newsletter, identified several myths regarding women in the military.
Their first myth addresses that women don’t belong in combat. They state that the opposite argument is more valid. Their point is that equality promotes acceptance and that it is the distinction of combat experience that is ultimately judged, not gender. The documentary: Lioness about women who served in combat support positions in Iraq demonstrates their competence in the face of combat stress.
Secondly: That sexual trauma only occurs to women. It has been reported that 1 in 100 men, 13,000 cases or approximately the same number of women (from a much larger sample) have been abused.
Third: The women must be lying. It is impossible to tell the accuracy of reports, whether there is over or under-reporting or if false reports are filed. The documentary: Invisible War presents a number of graphic examples experienced by several women and one man and . . .
Fourth: That the problem is a social problem, not the military. This is difficult to compare, but the prevalence of other crimes is much lower in the military than in society. This suggests that there is a problem and that the military must address it. The visibility cases involving Military Sexual Trauma has gained presents other possible consequences for the military. If this problem, and the general hostility many women face attempting to do their part is not adequately and appropriately addressed, it could impact the decision of women to join the service. One answer suggested by the research may be for women and men to work together to find positive solutions. The Newsweek internet news service DailyBeast states that the presence of MST also requires that society recognizes that some awful people make it into the military. And, while that is true, the majority of service members are great, honorable and upstanding people, both male and female. According to the DailyBeast, if only 1% of those serving are criminals that could mean that 10,000 criminals are serving.
With most things military there is the Department of Defense, DoD, perspective on any given challenge which represent the views of the Service Branches and the Department of Veteran Affairs, DVA, perspective and their challenges in meeting the needs of veterans after service is complete. There is a wall between the two organizations as the respective missions are not always compatible. The VA is also comprised of three separate administrations, each with its own mission: Health Care, Cemeteries, and Benefits. There is a wall between these organizations as well, which adds considerable complexity to how this significant problem will be resolved. A sampling of resources on MST available through the VA, and from non-VA resources, are listed below.
On NPR radio’s Talk of the Nation program (November 21, 2012) the host said this about Moral Injury:
“Whether you call it battle fatigue or shell shock or PTSD, we've come to accept that the trauma of combat can leave profound psychological scars. But how do you describe the damage from actions that violate one's values, but don't involve trauma, injury from horrific scenes that betray core moral beliefs?” Moral Injury is a phrase coined by Jonathan Shay in his book “Achilles in Vietnam” where he drew correlations from the Iliad to countless stories of survival from history’s combat veterans. Dr shay has noted a similarity between Post Traumatic Stress and Moral Injury, but is clear in his statements that they are not the same, and can not be treated the same. He feels that while PTSD is often referred to the mental health (medical) community, MI must be treated in the community of veterans and in the larger community of civilians. Reverend Bray, author of “Soul Repair” states: “ We spend months, weeks and months, training ordinary people who grew up with us and teaching them to kill, and then we send them off to war, which is a horrible experience for any person with a conscience. And then we bring them home, and with a little bit of interviewing and a few hours maybe of talking to, we put them back in civilian society. And the rest of us just think, well, they'll just get over it and go on with their lives and be the same. And they're never the same.” Unlike PTSD, MI is not considered to be a diagnosed syndrome although it can be found in depression, guilt, anxiety, nightmares, confusion and more. Jonathan Shay suggests it is a violation of what is right and wrong. Veteran’s who have confronted the consequences of violence in what has been termed “the fog of war” point to their training in rules of conduct set by the Geneva Convention regarding treatment of prisoners of war, and the military regulates combat missions through very specific “Rules of Engagement”. Still, war is not civil and PTSD and MI are possible consequences. As Dr. Shay states: “they're not mutually exclusive at all. Moral injury can lead to PTSD, moral injury can come after PTSD. He states, “the simplest way to understand PTSD is the persistence into civilian life of absolutely valid survival adaptations, adaptations that let you survive when other human beings really are trying to kill you and doing a damn good job of it.”
War presents many opportunities for grey areas. Brandi in his “Warriors Guide to Insanity” states: “Parents, old friends, or family members who have not shared your same experiences will not understand you. Find other combat vets, or someone who will.” It is hoped that through education and opportunities to share without judgment, veterans and civilians can help each other understand the issues veterans face.
Employee Assistance Professionals are in the front lines in the identification, referral and integration of Veterans returning from deployment back into the workplace and through the workplace, back into the community. EAP’s provide an opportunity to educate the workforce in the issues facing our veteran population within the larger civilian population.
MST (Military Sexual Trauma):
Moral Injury:
- National Center for PTSD: ptsd.va.gov
- Now After: Documentary Video available on UTube: An Iraq Veteran’s effort to readjust to civilian life
- Brandi, Sgt.: The Warrior’s Guide to Insanity. Available from the author: Also warriorsguidetoinsanity.com. Website has links to other resources and a link to be able to download the book.
- Tick, Edward PhD.: War and the Soul. Quest Books, 2005.
- Shay, Jonathan: Achilles in Vietnam. scribner, 1998
- Shay, J: Odysseus in America. Scribner, 2002
- Grossman, D: On Combat. PPCT Research Pub. 2004
- Grossman, D: On Killing. RPCT Research Pub. 1995December 14, 2013
- Brock, R.: Soul Repair. Back Bay Books, 1995
- Marlantes, Karl: What is it Like to Go to War. Publishers Group West. 2011
- Marlantes, K.: Matterhorn. Publishers Group West. 2010
The scientific world calls this energy Vibrational Medicine. It used to be called woo woo. Sometimes it still is. Why? Maybe because of our European focus on logical/rational proof. I have to see it and be able to measure it in order to believe it. That works much of the time, but what if we don’t know how to measure it? Then what? Do you know how to measure gravity? Have you ever tried to measure the speed of light? And there was a recent experiment that almost exceeded that speed. Then what? How about what you or I might believe. We both believe that our beliefs are the true beliefs, but how can that be if they are both very different? Religion, politics, and many other beliefs often reveal very different truths. Hmmm. These realities exist, for demonstration purposes, in the left side of our brain.
What realities come from the right side? It’s different you know. The right side is more interested in color and light and imagination and dreams and things imagined. It seems that Archetypes might better live in the right-sided world - more open to possibilities over there (and creativity brings the two sides together to act as a team with different perspectives and skill sets). Pretty cool, huh? The right side, the quantum mechanics side seems to have different realities that are not bound by time and distance. Energy created on that side could be anywhere instantaneously. Think it and it’s projected outward and received. For example: ever think of someone and you get a call or run into them. Coincidence? Maybe. In The Secret the idea of the Law of Attraction is presented. The Law states that whatever you intend (think about, focus on, wish for) you will receive. Happiness? Success? Failure? Love, anger, fear, you name it, it’s yours. How does that work? Why do so many people live in their self-created swamp when they say they want to live in their self-created meadow? Go figure.
So, there’s got to be a way for us mortals to join these two minds together, to help them link up as a team or get out of their way so their natural tendencies to self heal can be realized. Nelson Mandela: “It is not our darkness that frightens us but our light”. He suggested that the power to heal is not in some of us, but in all of us. You too? Me? What if…
If you’d like to learn more about Energy Medicine, Rei Ki, Healing touch. Check out the Internet or contact me at onbelaycounseling.com.
Namaste
August 21, 2013:
Board of Directors: Gather around the campfire
Each of us has an internal way of organizing thoughts about and reactions to both external and internal events. For example: Your supervisor comes to your office and you think: what does she want now? Or I can tell by the look on his face that there is a problem, what did I do wrong?
As a result of our thoughts, there is a physical reaction that corresponds to those thoughts: anxieties, anger, joy. There is debate over which comes first, the thought or the physical response. They both happen so quickly it’s difficult to tell, and sometimes it may be a physical reaction first, with thoughts that follow, and at other times the thoughts come first.
While life goes on around us, there is a constant stream of internal chatter that has it’s own agenda. Sometimes our internal world is monitoring, evaluating and commenting on external events. Sometimes our internal world ignores external events to focus on our internal world. Both are real, and both exist together yet separate from each other.
This model offers one way of organizing the internal world of thoughts and feelings with the external world. It helps us understand that while we have thoughts and feelings, they are not in-charge. You are. You are the chairperson of your board of directors. Each of your thoughts and feelings serve the higher good, and are doing their job, the task they have been assigned to help you fulfill your goals.
List of Characters:
You: The part of you that is forever. This you stands above your thoughts and feelings. This part takes in information, processes it, compares the current thought/feeling with past (and future) experiences and arrives at decisions about how you will react. This part is connected with God, the Dream Giver, and is aware that anything is possible if you have the resources, courage, and perseverance to achieve.
Your chief of staff (COS): This part carries out your orders and makes things happen. The purpose of this part is to serve your higher good, but often we inadvertently give our COS assignments that are not in our best interests. Our COS will carryout our wishes, but needs to understand clearly what those wishes are.
First Responders: First on the scene of any emergency - real or imagined (and internally, they are both the same), work under the direction of the COS, and respond to the immediate crisis; always on duty, always on alert. Have been known to over-react, and sometimes have been asleep at the switch.
Consultants: Decision shapers. Consultants have two aspects: Dark and Light (not positive and negative although they are often thought of in that way)
• The Child: oves discovery and adventure. Loves to learn, is open to new experiences. Loving and trusting OR angry, petulant, demanding, irrational
• The Victim: The one who is powerless (one who reacts) to stop events from happening OR the part that takes charge (one who takes action) to become a survivor.
• The Prostitute: The one who gives what they have to give for a price. We all have a price. What is yours?
• The Saboteur: The part that undermines our efforts, often in subtle ways. Uses rationalizations, minimizing, projection, blaming, and other tools of the saboteur’s trade. OR The part that helps us recognize the consequences of a proposed action so that we can modify our response.
There are other critters who play a part:
• Monsters: hide under the bed and promise to eat you. They are only there at night, and disappear during the light of day.
• Dragons: Sleep on treasure. You want the treasure, you can have it, just be careful to not wake the dragon!
• Gremlins: Nasty critters that mess with your plans anyway they can, at any time, and usually when you least expect it. Their favorite gambit is to get you to argue with them. The more you argue, the stronger they become. Carol Jung stated, “What you resist persists.” To defeat a gremlin takes the skill of Wu Wei (fighting by not being there).
The Board of Directors: Some call these thought and feeling patterns or your internal family (reference). You may feel free to identify them in any way that makes sense to you. The concept is that each “character” i.e., anxiety, fear, courage; has its own way of reacting to any situation. Anxiety reacts by “feeling” anxious - tightness in the stomach, high, shallow breathing, highly alert to threat; and its own thoughts: what did I do? What’s going on? I can’t stand this. Your anxiety guide always reacts to situations, especially new or unexpected ones, with anxiety. Your fear guide always reacts with fear, anger with anger, and so on.
From the examples above, it would be easy to identify them as the bad or negative emotions. But that would be inaccurate, and more importantly, unhelpful. They are doing their job and reacting as they have been instructed. Neither good, nor bad, just “are”. Other characters {thoughts, feelings, physical responses) could be called good: courage, patience, joy, love, acceptance. But they also just “are” and have both a dark side and a light side. For example, guilt and shame are often attached to not doing something that someone, or some part of our past has termed good - a good daughter always visits her mother for dinner on Sunday. Ah, the trap has been laid, and both parties can become ensnared.
So, here is a view of the Board:
Forever You - the Chair
Chief of Staff - First responders responsible for Intention
Consultants - Critters Consequences
BOARD OF DIRECTORS*
Gratitude
Anxiety
Appreciation
Anger
Creativity
Depression
Affection
Fear
Serenity
Adventure
Courage
Curiosity
The participating audience: Judgments and beliefs: Guilt, shame, doubt; Hope, Joy, Purpose and many others.
Each board is similar but unique. The cast of characters active in your current board may be different from the example board above. You may want to add, change or modify your board to fit your past, current or future situation. It’s your Board. Who do you want to include to serve your highest good?
Some thoughts to keep in mind:
Reality is governed and controlled by beliefs. Change beliefs and reality is changed.
If you want to speak your truth, not someone else’s, then you need to know and choose from available beliefs (most of which are not true, or a lie that has been accepted as true) or begin to create new ones that you know are true for you.
There are two minds and one brain. The first mind is of the ego, the second is of a higher self. Each mind determines how thoughts and emotions are perceived and how responses are determined.
The left hemisphere of the brain (in over-simplified terms) holds logical, rational thought and problem-solving. The right hemisphere holds light, color, emotion and insight. Western men tend to be locked into the left hemisphere with the right hemisphere reserved for special occasions. Women tend to be able to utilize both hemispheres more effectively. Men can learn to use both hemispheres and women can help in that process.
Carl Jung: “That which we resist persists”. Or, everything we seek is on the other side of fear. Embrace your fear and the door will open. Once thru the door, fear is behind you.
Be grateful.
Choose the light of thoughts and feelings.
Be aware of the words you use both internally and externally. You are what you think as well as what you say.
Acknowledge others. Appreciate yourself just as you are today.
Nelson Mandela: It is not our darkness that frightens us, but out light
The love you get is 10 times the love you give. So give love away!
The anger you get is 10 times the anger you give. Get the picture?
May 31, 2013:
Zen and motorcycles
Robert Pirsig wrote Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance in the 60’s. I didn’t read it then because I really thought it was about fixing bikes. Well, it does that, but it does a whole lot more. It’s a journey to truth and the insights and struggles that are met on the way. I’m not done with it, but there are a couple of very Zen questions that have been imposed: We define reality as we know it by what we see, hear, smell, touch, feel. What would happen to reality if we didn’t have those senses? After many pages of logical arguments, it comes down to the statement that reality if what we create. That it is an illusion. We know from quantum physics that everything is mostly space even if it appears to be solid. I’m not sure what this means exactly, but it does seem to be another piece of a puzzle.
Another question, of some importance is: what is quality? Again, after much debate and argument, it is determined that quality can not be defined and that it both measurable and not measurable. My conclusion is that quality is a God force that, from a human perspective requires both sides of our brain - the logical and the intuitive - to understand it. God’s intent was to create quality in the universe as we come to understand it.
The Warriors Journey: A journey for all of us
The Lakota word for Warrior is Akeshata: defender of the tribe. This is an honored duty that is not taken lightly. It means that, as warriors, they may be asked to go in harms way to protect their community, their family, elders, and children.
When warriors pledge to follow the warriors path, it changes their lives forever. They embark on the Hero’s Journey. This journey requires that all that they know is left behind, along with all that is comfortable and familiar, and go off to a future that is unknown, and perhaps terrible. Yet, the warrior does this with the promise that he or she is not alone. It is promised that help and guidance will be provided that tools to help them complete their task will be laid before them. They know the path will be difficult, but that the prize will be worth the cost - even unto death. And they look forward to coming home to their tribe, their family; to be welcomed with honor and to be brought back into the circle.
A Very Partial Reading List:
Jueith, Anodea: Eastern Body, Western Mind
Ruiz, Miguel: The Four Agreements
The Fifth Agreement
Gerber, Richard: Vibrational Medicine
Sagen, Carl: Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors
Campbell, Joseph: The Hero With A Thousand Faces
Byrne, Rhonda: The Secret
Myss, Caroline: Sacred Contracts
Moyers, Bill: Healing and the Mind
Millman, Dan: Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Brandi, Sgt: The Warriors Guide to Insanity
Dale, Cyndi: Chakra Healing
Newton, Michael: Life Between Lives
Dyer, Wayne: Wisdom of the Ages