CODEPENDENCY IS ABOUT THE OTHERS

FOR EVERY DEPENDENT PERSON THERE ARE AT LEAST FIVE OTHERS WHO ARE IMPACTED BY THE ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG ABUSER’S ADDICTion 

Of course the problem begins long before an addiction occurs.  It begins when you notice that someone is acting "out of character".  More emotionally different, or noticing behaviors or attitudes that weren't there before.  Maybe new friends or activities.  Your relationship with that person is changing in upsetting or distressing ways.  They don't notice the change or deny that they are changing and insist that it must be you. A small red flag is raised, but it is ignored.  Many more little red flags present themselves over time and they continue to be ignored. The flags get bigger and the relationship continues to be disturbed - Arguments, hurtful words, hurt feelings, confusion, distrust.  What is wrong? we ask ourselves.  

Denial: Self doubt. This will go away, it was a mistake, just a bad day.

Self Blame: I must be doing something wrong, or need to do something better. I know this is my fault.

Blame Others: The list is long, the possibilities endless.

 Secrets: I can’t share this, what will others think - of me? I hope no one notices.

Isolation: I feel so alone, isolated

READ: Codependency; Co-Dependent no more; Getting them sober. Check out Alanon.